Can you see how she was getting more and more confused and alienated? Who was this foreigner in her own house, not saying a word, not even looking at her? what was the proper etiquette with him? should she demand an answer, or force him to answer? that seemed the wrong behavior, because he was signaling that he didn’t want to engage with her. However, what to do with the hundreds of petty everyday decisions that needed his input? Was she going to get some attention because Valentine's Day was approaching? And, if she would force herself on him to get an answer, any answer, how to process his angry eyes, telling her that she was trespassing on him?
A person doing the cold shoulder as a means of communicating disgust or anger, is sending a truncated message...his anger can come through, but the object of this anger is not clear. What should the other spouse do? imagine what kind of transgression he/she has done to have the spouse so high in his contempt? it seems a lost battle, because there can be a lot of different reasons for the isolation.
What is real, and hurting as much as a physical pain, is the isolation inflicted. His silent treatment, full of contempt is really a permanent rejection, a hurt that doesn’t diminish with each day of continuous isolation ….It negates whatever is expected from such an intimate relationship as a marriage.
Are you also “married alone”? Do you recognize yourself in this picture? As a way of comforting you in this Valentine day, when you should be feeling supported and loved instead of suffering the silent treatment, we offer you a free book, “5 Ways to Fight the Silent Treatment.”
Feel free to share it with your friends...meanwhile, keep up your search for positive ways of love and support....and learn how to stop silent treatments in your life.