How can you improve the satisfaction of your emotional needs?
What can you do with the ideas we share here?
How can the ideas we teach you here to improve your situation?
Let me count the ways...We have worked hard to provide you with the information and the support to face TWO of the biggest obstacles in any married person's life.
What are those obstacles?
I.- When you grasp what is the real nature of passive aggression (reenacting of a childhood attachment wound), you stop being constrained by your endless hope that he will improve naturally the way he treats you. He will not, NOT without serious help and commitment to change... This is a bitter pill to swallow, but the sooner you stop "improving him", the better.
That leaves you free from the task of improving him, and from teaching him how to be caring, appreciative, and loving.... Now you know that your first duty is to develop yourself into the best person you can be. To get there, you have to suspend the pressure on him to deliver, because your expectation that he delivers the duties of a good husband makes him resistant to exactly deliver what is necessary for his marriage. Once you are here, release him to finally take care of himself and heal as he can his childhood wound, with you (if he changes and thus deserves you as a good spouse) or without you.
There are two tools to accomplish this:
A: Release yourself by learning as much as you can about passive aggression: "The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband"
B. Tell him to do his own process of working through and healing his PA reading: "Stop your Passive Aggressive Behavior"
II.- When you grasp the real nature of his emotional abuse (a constant and hideous attempt to control your life, done by a CHILD too fearful of any distance seen as abandonment), you are left free to rebuild your own self-esteem. The first step is to consider which are your emotional needs. Seriously, consider which are the areas of extreme need, and think of ways of filling those holes. It is your job, and nobody else can do it for you.
What can you do with it? Everything! Focusing on your emotional needs (to be respected? to be appreciated? to be hugged?) with get you to feel happier every day, able to design a plan for your life, be grateful for the abundant gifts you have received, joyous for your life, and for the lessons learned that now make you a powerful person.
Here is the tool: "Healing From Emotional Abuse"
Of course, if you have a Kindle reader, we can tell you about our Kindle books:
Emotionally Abusive Relationships: Your Guide to Healing from Emotional Abuse in Marriage