Are you presenting a “nice person” image of yourself
to avoid all confrontations, but keep feeling fake or left out?
Is emotional damage now hidden in your present life? As a child you always wanted to be accepted, and you learned some tricks that gave results for a while. Creating a strong image of a Nice Person helped you to feel more accepted by your parents, siblings, and friends. This nice person always molded to fit the group, accepting the ruling of others without asking for the chance to include your own needs into their agenda. Doing that, your own needs became ignored by others and second priority to yourself, sometimes having to be suppressed completely.
This may be what others expected from you, providing a sense of ease, but you paid a very high price in emotional damage. After many years of doing the "nice person act" you find your energy is sapped, that you feel empty, devoid of all motivation and sense of purpose.
It is at this moment that you realize the need to choose between pleasing others and losing yourself, or fulfilling your own needs and claiming what you really are, what you really want ... and repair the emotional damage.
But fulfillment of your needs is only possible if you learn how to assert yourself effectively and grow your own identity: Self-assertion that is too strong, or aggressive, will provoke powerful reactions that can be stressing or even damaging to your relationships, and being too passive or having a weak self-esteem will leave you very vulnerable to whatever others need or want, sending you back to the starting point in all our lives to be as helpless as an infant. Do you want that?
HAVING BETTER SELF-ESTEEM:
If you gradually build self-esteem, you will :
- Feel adequate, no matter the circumstances
- Accept and celebrate your own merits and accomplishments
- Always feel security and a sense of direction.
- Stop emotional abuse and mistreatment from the start
- Attract the happiness you dream of
- Be able to confidently negotiate any difficult issue.
- Communicate your views with ease, even in stressful situations
- Establish your needs and boundaries
To your happiness!