When I feel that he is “Punishing Me for Crying,” the dream I’m yearning for is… comfort.
Most of the responses (68%) expressed dreams around the following insights:
1. “I wish that he honestly cared and was concerned when he saw that I was crying. I wish he could see that I’m hurting, pure and simple. What I need at those times is not to be dismissed or told I’m playing the victim, like usual – I need comfort and understanding, things that come only with real, honest communication.”
2. “It would be wonderful if I could be emotional when I need to and he would just hug me close, stroke my hair, and let me cry it out. I don’t want to feel that I have to hide from him or he’ll laugh at me for crying. That’s just not healthy; everybody cries. I’d rather have compassion and a desire to make me feel better.”
3. “I want to be able to feel whatever it is I’m feeling, whatever it is that’s troubling me, without being made to feel that my feelings are unfounded and that I'm being unreasonable. My husband is a Marine and can’t grasp the concept of ‘crying.’ That’s a very lonely situation.”
In what other ways would you know that he is there to comfort you?
• “He lets me know that my emotions are valid and that it’s OK for me to feel the way I do.”
• “Sometimes I just don’t want to talk about why I’m sad - the important thing is that he always asks why.”
• “If he makes me cry, he is sure to stop himself and comfort me. He always regrets his conduct and tries to work things out in a different way.”
• “He knows that sexual passion is not enough – sometimes I need some simple compassion.”
I simply need to feel safe when I'm down!
NOW that you deeply acknowledge this need to feel safe to express pain and sadness, and to be comforted by him …how are you going to find the safe space where to be able to express your emotions ? How are you going to ask for empathy and respect for your feelings, whatever they can be? And how are you going to feel supported and comforted when life delivers one of these blows that makes you (and everybody else) need a good cry to feel better?