When I feel that he is
“Sabotaging My Projects,” the dream I’m yearning for is… unconditional support.
Some of the responses, 75% of them expressed dreams so:
1. “I need to know that I have a partner who cares! When you truly love someone, you want what’s best for them; you want to see them spread their wings and try to fly. Helping them with the things that matter to them is never a burden. Most importantly, loving someone means you wouldn’t dream of sabotaging their projects; their dreams. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what my husband has done, and almost all of my projects have been ruined by him.”
2. “More than anything, I desire the freedom and confidence to take on even the hardest projects. Instead of criticizing me or telling me I can’t do it, he should be cheering me on, letting me know that he’s proud of me. I know that I am strong enough to succeed without his help… But success would be so much more gratifying if I knew that he had been there to encourage me through my struggles.”
3. “I want to know that we don’t have to compete against one another and argue about whose project or needs are more ‘important’. I wish we could slow down, lean on each other more, and simply enjoy our time together. Who knows, maybe we would even get excited about each other’s important projects!”
In what other ways would you know that he supports you?
• “I know I can count on his support when I need it, no matter what it is I require.”
• “My husband cares enough to do something simply because he knows it’s important to me.”
• “He is with me every step of the way, but he also respects my space and gives me time to develop my projects.”
• “It is a back and forth conversation: I give him my full support, and he returns the gesture.”
• “He takes a real, genuine interest in the things I want to do.”
I simply need to feel respected.
NOW that you deeply acknowledge this need to be respected, included and supported in your life struggles by the person most near you…how are you going to find the warm support you need to face everyday’s life challenges? How are you going to challenge his way of denying support to your projects, and request from him the reciprocal support that is the core of any marriage? And how are you going to repair the damage caused by his negativity and lack of support that forces you to give your battles always alone and with an extra handicap of fearing him stabbing you in the back?