For the New Year, I know what I want;
It's the same wish I always knew:
If having someone at my side:
- He will not make the rules – tell me what I do, where I can go, decide by himself who spends the money and what it’s spent on.
If accepting someone's love, this love will not be:
- Conditioning approval and love to my doing exactly what he wants;
- Always right while I'm presented as always wrong;
- Forcing me to accept his sense of humor as right and my answers as "merely too sensitive."
- Controlling me with his disapproval, name-calling, demeaning putdowns, blame and guilt.
- Blaming me if he is angry on his own life.
And if I'm so nice as to accept, value and respect him, I don't want to be under the illusion that because I love him and I'm nice to him, he will change and control himself.
This will only confirm him that he can get away with the crime of controlling and abusing me. If I want to keep the peace, I will have to be strong, let him know of my limits and say STOP! when he is hurting our relationship and me....
When my new life begins in 2012, I will stop making excuses for his behavior and have the courage to say STOP! every time my personal integrity is pushed around.