Recent research has shown that our bodies are intertwined with all our emotional states. Our hearts, lungs, stomach and all our internal organs respond to the stress level we experience. Our bodies are faster than the mind to recognize emotional threats in a way that we are not so much aware of, and this can have devastating effects in our health.
What happens when you look for peace and love at home, and you find too many squabbles? You are searching for refuge and find instead constant quarreling with your spouse? Wouldn’t it be healthier to be able to go home and find loving companionship? This kind of home will give your health a boost, and make your heart repair from other stresses.
Some couple fights are inevitable given that both parties, male and female need to start a fight sometimes when in need of refreshing the connection and companionship, and to keep the relationship growing.
Fighting without the necessary skills to control escalation can do a lot of damage to your health and your relationship. What matters in preventing unhealthy consequences is the quality of the fighting, and the most important piece is each side taking responsibility for what they say and do.
There is the special case of marital conflict when one partner shows passive aggressive behaviors, where a supposedly mature person behaves in a way that pushes their own share of responsibilities to their partner’s side. The other side is always guilty, or needs to change, etc.
And if the accused partner tries to redress this issue, the response they get is not a good conversation about “what do we need to do now to improve”, but blaming, accusations, bad temper and either sulking or complete withdrawal.
The main difference in the quality of the interaction hinges on the mutual respect they can show for each other, even in the heat of an argument.
Knowing this, there has to be a way to learn how to create a safe environment where both spouses can equally communicate with respect, and this is the area of fair fighting skills.
These are a set of skills that help partners clarify the situation, allow both sides to recognize their needs and provide a way to find a solution without violence.
Fighting and having a strong discussion with a passive aggressive partner will not give wives the recognition they need in the first moment, before the fight.
But, due to their ignorance of methods to fight fair, they find themselves being more attacked, hurt and put down.
Do you need training in fair fighting techniques to deal with any passive aggressive partner in your life?