Are You In a Sexless Marriage?
Here and there, the sexless marriage part of being in a passive aggressive marriage raises it head, so we have sad comments like these on this site comments page:
"Two years ago my husband stopped touching me all together. He said that it was because I didn't pay attention to him one morning when he sat next to me on the couch. I found out a little later that he has been involved in a very long-term affair with a coworker. When I confronted him about it he refused to talk about it, but he did blame me for all the problems. "
"Throughout the last couple of years he has continued seeing other women and has remained emotionally detached towards me. He seems to want to continue the connection with other women and remain in the marriage. The whole situation disturbed me on such a deep level that I only have just begun to think straight and about readying myself for a divorce. There is a very heavy price to be paid in remaining in these marriages. I feel I am in a financially bad position to divorce. I would love to get any feedback. I am fighting desperately to pick myself up from the dirt."
I'm really bummed in our marriage about sex. He is quite a bit older than me (ED not an issue though) and anytime I suggest we have a "date" he flips out. Often he yells at me, the rest of the time he acts like it is the most preposterous, insulting thing I've said in a week. We've slept together four times in the last six years -- prior to that it was monthly, maybe, often with more of the same. No foreplay, no "love" just seemed like it was a yucky chore for him. This has really left me feeling quite ugly and unwanted. "
"I know he loves me (or at least really needs me) but the all-around disdain -- it just freaks me out. He won't discuss any of this, of course. After years of extreme isolation, I've finally gone back to the working world. I feel like if the opportunity to have an affair arose, I would take it. Don't really want to wreck my daughter's "happy" home, though, and I do not plan to leave him. Any suggestions you could offer would really be appreciated."
We have been following this part of the passive aggressive challenge very closely, and thinking on best suggestions to reduce the pain of the "all-around-disdain..." As you know we tend to think about this marital challenge as a basic inability to enter into the only deep, intimate connections that really ask for much more than superficial behaviors.
Part of the results are in our new book that we have just published in Amazon Kindle, and that offers some solutions for you to try.
If this situation sounds familiar to you, and you want to participate in the evaluation of the book, please leave your name and an email address (as jane @hotmail.com) below and we will send you your own evaluation copy, no payment involved.
Or you can head on to Amazon right now : https://amzn.to/
If you don't own a Kindle device, we have you covered too, you still can read the book on your computer screen, downloading the free Kindle reader here.
After reading the Kindle book, we would appreciate if you can post your comments about the book on the Amazon page and share how those solutions worked for you, so your ideas can help others?
Again, this free book is only for you, and only for this week...
Hurry up and download it before June 16, so we don't run out of the 100 copies approved to be given away to our members of this blog...I'm very excited waiting for your comments!