Passive Aggressive Husband


How to grow your self-esteem

 Life demands a complicated balance...we are asked to care for the relationship, be ready to listen and understand our partner, and at the same time, coming almost last, is our self-growth. Why is this so? postponing ourselves is doing nothing but forcing us to try to do things for others from an "empty tank" situation. Having the illusion of maturity is not the same as knowing who you are, and what your needs are. If you don't know what your emotional and intellectual needs are, you will end up always shortchanged. It's the worst negotiation possible the one in which we ask permission to explain ourselves, wait for permission to express what we need, and are preached on humility and generosity all the time...while the counterpart grabs resources, attention, and recognition. No wonder low self-esteem is our lot!
If we have the time and the resources to do some introspection, get to know what our needs are, which mission we'd love to pursue, then we develop a responsible attitude towards ourselves. We begin respecting our time, energy, and resources, and use them wisely to nurture first our body and soul, so later we can give to others...Self-development has to come first...if it were not for the twisted messages received from everywhere, this would be naturally accepted. At this moment, some of us need to fight to recover our own sense of self. How do you do it?

So what does it take to discover and grow your self-esteem?

Here are some of the things you should try on:

1. Reaffirm your own values

Make a list of the top 5 things that you value most. There are ones very important to choose from: security, freedom, family, spiritual development, the right to be continuously learning, peace of mind, self-determination, etc. They can change along with your life, but their strong pull will be always there because they form your core.

2. Leverage your passions

What you truly enjoy in life? What are the things that motivate you and fill your heart with joy? By using your passions as a source of energy you will discover that obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm would slower your progression, but your resolve will keep you going. Be proud of the life aspects you love, and honor the people who share the same ideals...those are your true friends.

3. Know your purpose

Are you wandering through life with little direction, hoping that life automatically will provide you with happiness, health, and prosperity? Then, you have been programmed to be confused and lost the rest of your life...Identifying your life purpose will give you a unique compass that will guide you to your truth north, regardless of the situation you are in at the moment. We become able to formulate our own life mission along time and with a bit of self-reflection. Start talking about the responsibility for creating the conditions for your own happiness, and the rest will follow.

4. Know your needs

Do you have hidden needs to be acknowledged, respected, or loved? like to be secure, doing the right things? or learning by exploring new situations? We all have a pyramid of needs that are always motivating our actions...If you were educated to repress your needs, such repression can keep you from living authentically. List your top four needs and create a plan to get them met before it’s too late!

5. Honor your strengths

What talents do you have? What are your positive traits? List them – You can ask those closest to you to help identify your strengths. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You will increase your self-confidence when you share what you know with others, so they can appreciate you better.

6. Live from the inside out

Increase your awareness of your inner self by regularly reflecting in silence. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers, it’s hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. Often just sit in a dimly lit room and avoid other distractions to help your mind get centered. Once your body learns the breathing rhythm that allows it to relax, you will find yourself doing deep breathing when stress is coming.

7. Connect and serve others

When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. By being true to who you are, living your purpose, and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others: your spirit – your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you are many, much more in the eyes of the person who can appreciate what you have done to them.


In short: Don't wait any longer to put yourself first! If nobody else does, how do you think you can survive any toxic marriage that life can throw at you? From healthy self-esteem you can love and help others...and continue honoring and respecting yourself! If there some way my words can help you, here is this book: Boosting Your Self Esteem: Be Your Own Heroine!

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9 years ago

My PA husband can be so negative. It can be so easy for me to be caught up in his miserable attitude. I got like him for a couple weeks and could not stand myself. What I did to change was listen to some positive reinforcement.
It helped me to love life and be thankful.

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