How does a secure attachment style produce happier lives?
It appears that there are proven relationships between kinds of attachment, human needs satisfaction, and well-being or distress.
It is possible that individuals with attachment security are more likely to experience the satisfaction of their basic psychological needs of autonomy, competence, and love and connection to others. They know how to search for and accept secure, trusting, and positive individuals in their lives.
Secure adults offer support when their partner feels distressed. They also go to their partner for comfort when they themselves feel troubled. Their relationship tends to be honest, open, and equal, with both people feeling independent, yet loving toward each other. And, not least, secure people have fewer experiences of feeling ashamed, depressed and rejected.
Of course, the trick is not to be born into an insecure attachment. But you can't choose your mother...right? so, once you have decided that you got a bad number at the lottery, and as a result ended up with an insecure attachment, you need to move next to select the right partner. Who is right for you? a person with a secure attachment, of course...Beyond this easy answer, how can we be sure that the person we have chosen will treat us as we would treat them? Think carefully about the answers to the following questions....
Is your lover capable of putting your interests before his/her interests when needed?
Will she/he help us with the challenges of our daily life?
Will he/she help us achieve our needs and desires, and would our goals be as important as his?
Will she/ he help us with our life’s work, and all the connections we already have?
Will our lives be significantly improved by this person?
If you get a clear yes response, then you have a jewel in your hands...congratulations! Now you can be sure that there will be more positivity than negativity in your life. So, you can expect to live longer, have a better income, enjoy a good marriage, and manage stress in a better way.!
Still, trying to improve your insecure attachment? Get help here
