How possible is it to have change in my passive-aggressive marriage?
Sometimes, women on our Passive Aggressive Husband blog tell us that they don't think it's worth it to stay with a PA man. Of course, there are times when they are right. A man may have other problems besides PA that are endangering the wife's physical or emotional health. But you need a positive change in your marriage, now. If you still feel some trace of the love that you once had for your husband, we encourage you to look past the easier "dump him and move on" option. Is there a change possible?
We have a three steps process to see if you can pick this option, without an extraordinary pain price to pay.
Each step gives you an indication of the validity of your choice:
First Step: ask him, "Can we be a bit more sure that we really deal with passive-aggressive behaviors? would you like to take the test?
If he says: "Yes," then you can have some hope....send him to Passive Aggressive Test
If he says: "No way," then you can have a measure of his willingness to cooperate with you. He doesn't want to change, and that's it.
Second Step: If he took the test, the results are in, and you might ask to share them. Even then, if he gets told that he is using Passive-Aggressive Behaviors, he can reject the test; or he can hopefully say: "It could be right on certain issues..." Then, you can have some hope for change, and move on to the next step.
Third Step: you've probably heard about our new system for men called the "4 Steps to FREE Your Marriage of Passive Aggression.” It offers wives a much-awaited solution for healing their husbands' behavior - a solution that men feel puts the choices in their hands, not the wife's.
You may be thinking, however, that it's not worth staying with your husband to see if the system works. You may just feel so disheartened as to feel like not bothering anymore, and just want to leave.
However, what will you benefit from having a non-PA husband? What can sticking it out to see the system at work do for you, as the wife?
- Peace of mind - you no longer have to walk on eggshells in your own home, or fear the person you married. Your emotional and physical states are at peace with each other - and with him.
- Avoiding divorce - severing his connection to passive aggression ensures that probably you can avoid severing the marriage. He's leaving his toxic behaviors behind and it means that they are no longer blocking the marriage from becoming all it can be.
- Good father - a good father is not passive-aggressive. As his passive aggression heals, your husband will be better equipped to provide your children with the love, care, and respect they deserve. He will learn that avoiding them, making fun of them, or abusing them emotionally prevents him from bonding with his children. He will also learn that this bond is important!
- Companionship - More than just returning the love to the marriage and the family, a sense of companionship (trust, honesty) will return to your life. You can once again rely on him for important support, follow-through, and encouragement on your projects.
- Emotional support - passive aggression thrives on denying emotional support. With those behaviors left behind, your husband can realize that giving you emotional support is not a bad thing. Part of the system is helping him learn that emotions are not weak or excessive (something he learned from his parents/caregivers).
- A real marriage - one that provides you with the emotional environment you require to give and receive real love and compassion. Both of you are responsible adults who can behave in an adult way, handling conflict in a timely manner, learning more about each other, and growing toward your mutual personal development.
In the end, you will begin to get what he promised you at the moment you married him: to be a good partner, present and responsible within the relationship.
Are you ready to get started with helping your husband help himself?
Tell him to visit our Passive Aggressive Test to get started. Tell him that he can verify by himself whether he's passive-aggressive or not!
He can also order the 4-Steps to FREE Your Marriage of Passive Aggression here and get started immediately! Let's get rolling!
