The healing you need after living with a passive-aggressive husband
If you have been living with a passive-aggressive husband for some time, let's watch the consequences on you?
At this moment, you need to think about what are the possible impacts on you.
Even if you can’t see them clearly, it is possible that you have been affected in several aspects of your personality.
Where are you today?
Estimating that you have been in this relationship at least some 2-3 years, you can expect to define yourself as having:
- diminished self-esteem;
- isolated because you have lost friends and relatives;
- being lost about your sense of your life mission;
- insecure about your intellectual capacity;
- growing submissive as to ask permission to say/think what you want;
- intimidated and forced to stop your creativity to avoid receiving his angry critiques;
- inhibited from generating your own income and thus keeping yourself trapped in a toxic situation for lack of funds.
This is a self-destructive situation that will not improve by itself. You will become poorer and poorer in enthusiasm, energy, and motivation to achieve your dreams. After getting to be much longer in this relationship, it will be difficult for you to remember the vital, healthy person you were at the beginning…
And you don’t want to realize after twenty or more years of living with a passive-aggressive husband, that the progressive devastation of your dreams has finished to kill them, right?
Wondering what can you do by yourself, if you happen to have not immediate help around?
I.- The first Steps to Recover Yourself:
- Recognize that you are a participant in his crooked and sad vision of what a marriage is; now, tell yourself this is not the marriage you deserve;
- Hear your inner voice saying that you can’t take willful loneliness and abandonment any longer, and make it real this time;
- Walk around your house and say goodbye to the lack of love, attention, sex, and recognition you experience just here…
- If you need to cry, do it while saying: "I cry because I’m saying goodbye to all this misery….”
- Now, with tears or not, go to your desk and write down your personal plan to recover yourself:
II.- Think about taking back power from a passive-aggressive man
- Get to accept that all his shenanigans are only coming from a poor, deficient, and insecure attachment with his mother/caretaker;
- Give up the pretense that you are responsible for his behavior; it was learned way before he met you!
- Look around and finally see the poor environment you are developing with him, and detach: this is NOT what your dreams promised you;
- And tell yourself not to fear change any minute longer, in order to go/have/be where you want to be…
Do some deep breathing inhalations and feel the negative and love-starved context he put you in, and imagine yourself walking out to a sunny, warm space.
Now, write down your vision of who you want to be, and what you want to be doing….
Meanwhile, if you want more information about how to recover from the impact of living with a passive-aggressive husband, you have this book:
The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband We continue describing your recovery in the next post!
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