Being grateful under duress shows a strong self-esteem?
This is a hard question, even for me. There are some moments in my own life, that the only answer at that time would be: "Nothing to be grateful for here, there is too much pain..."
Like when I was under constant death threats by my own husband, and the father of my children. He would point at me with his pistol and invite me to do my last prayers; I would answer with "remember that the kids need their vaccinations, and new school shoes..." instead. Later on, I do remember dragging myself to do the house daily tasks, wrapped up in this gray cloud of loneliness and utter despair...
This is the kind of duress I am referring too, and even under this terrible threat, there was a little light inside that told me to keep going, to keep doing what needed to be done, and that life would improve afterwards...So, please, remember that, even if you are in the pit of pain and hurt because your marriage is a battle field and not the loving connection we all need to survive and thrive, keeping alive to see another day brings a light of hope.
So many years after that time, and looking back, I would say to myself: "You know what? you did survive his violence...and got to have another day, another week, another year...Life was not taken from you, and for that you need to be grateful! Because staying alive is the condition for everything else, you need to be grateful that you dragged through, and repaired yourself, and got to be the person you want to be, here and now!"
You will find yourself, eventually, and the strength to recover and recreate yourself will come back, and the future will be better. Just hang on there, breathe deeply and be grateful of whatever gives you a little joy just now. Day in and day out...open your eyes, and be grateful for the sky you see, some flowers around, a good comment received from someone you didn't expect...even because and somehow, my words here help you. Be grateful and survive!
Here is some extra help, always necessary!