Does he attack you in public?

September 7, 2010 By

When I feel that he is “Attacking Me in Public,” the dream I’m yearning for is… protection first and recognition always.

About 60% of responses expressed dreams like these:

1. “I wish I could feel safe and trust him completely, knowing he would never turn on me and try to bring me down. However, he is unpredictable. At first he would attack me in public, but now he is more careful, trying to make himself look like the all-around nice guy. He wouldn’t dare do anything to jeopardize that. The public may buy into his dysfunctional façade, but I can’t bring myself to trust that he’s turned over a new leaf.”

2. “I don’t want to feel attacked, harassed, and bullied – I want to feel lifted up, cherished, with all the dignity that a caring husband gives a woman. I wish he wouldn’t undermine me and demean me at home, or worse, in public for everyone to see and gossip about. It makes me feel worthless.”

In what other ways would you know that he is there to value and appreciate you?

• “He cherishes me like I am something precious, and always watches out for my well-being.”
• “When we are out and find ourselves disagreeing, we talk things over in private – calmly.”
• “He spoils me with praise, whether we are home or not. It gives him pleasure to show his approval in public. It proves to me how much he appreciates me.”
• “He is sincere enough that even complete strangers on the street can tell he cares for me deeply.”
• “The idea of bullying me is the farthest thing from his mind. His priority is caring for me and protecting me from trouble and harm.”

I simply need to feel valued and appreciated by him everywhere.

NOW that you deeply acknowledge your deep need to be valued and appreciated by the person most near you, how are you going to get this appreciation you dream about ? How are you going to challenge his way of demeaning you in public, as to make appear that he is the one in control in your marriage, and show him that is really vital for you to feel cherished by him? And how are you planning to heal your self-esteem from the damage caused by his criticism and continuous public put downs? Do you see a way to heal your marriage from this kind of hurt?

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today. Begin now reading your copy of “The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband” and recover your own happiness!

Filed Under: impact of passive aggression, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive definition, Passive Aggressive Husband, passive aggressive marriage, passive aggressive personality Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Is he Frequently Sabotaging Your Projects?

August 28, 2010 By

When I feel that he is
“Sabotaging My Projects,” the dream I’m yearning for is… unconditional support.

Some of the responses, 75% of them expressed dreams so:

1. “I need to know that I have a partner who cares! When you truly love someone, you want what’s best for them; you want to see them spread their wings and try to fly. Helping them with the things that matter to them is never a burden. Most importantly, loving someone means you wouldn’t dream of sabotaging their projects; their dreams. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what my husband has done, and almost all of my projects have been ruined by him.”

2. “More than anything, I desire the freedom and confidence to take on even the hardest projects. Instead of criticizing me or telling me I can’t do it, he should be cheering me on, letting me know that he’s proud of me. I know that I am strong enough to succeed without his help… But success would be so much more gratifying if I knew that he had been there to encourage me through my struggles.”

3. “I want to know that we don’t have to compete against one another and argue about whose project or needs are more ‘important’. I wish we could slow down, lean on each other more, and simply enjoy our time together. Who knows, maybe we would even get excited about each other’s important projects!”

In what other ways would you know that he supports you?

• “I know I can count on his support when I need it, no matter what it is I require.”

• “My husband cares enough to do something simply because he knows it’s important to me.”

• “He is with me every step of the way, but he also respects my space and gives me time to develop my projects.”

• “It is a back and forth conversation: I give him my full support, and he returns the gesture.”

• “He takes a real, genuine interest in the things I want to do.”

I simply need to feel respected.

NOW that you deeply acknowledge this need to be respected, included and supported in your life struggles by the person most near you…how are you going to find the warm support you need to face everyday’s life challenges? How are you going to challenge his way of denying support to your projects, and request from him the reciprocal support that is the core of any marriage? And how are you going to repair the damage caused by his negativity and lack of support that forces you to give your battles always alone and with an extra handicap of fearing him stabbing you in the back?

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today. Begin now reading your copy of “The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband” and recover your own happiness!

Filed Under: impact of passive aggression, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive definition, Passive Aggressive Husband Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Again a sulking face? No more negativity!

August 17, 2010 By

When I feel that he has a “Sulking Face for No Reason,” the dream I’m yearning for is…calm and peace.

Some 65% of the responses are:

1. “I would like to feel that when and if he starts sulking, it’s a momentary lapse. It’s normal to feel a little let down sometimes, but he needs to let it go, get back in the game, and resolve the issue like an adult.”

2. “Some honesty between us would be great. He could just tell me when something is truly bothering him, and if he needs his space, I would give it to him. Instead, my PA husband claims that “he is not sulking,” when he clearly is. Worse still, he blames me for causing his bad mood!”

3. “I wish he would feel secure enough in our relationship to know that he can not only communicate with me, and tell me what’s wrong, but that he can also let down his guard and let down his walls. I want him to know I’m here to support and comfort him, not undermine him. If my husband felt supported and happy, my family would be happy too.”

In what other ways would you know that he can calmly solve problems?

• “I don’t have to pretend things are fine just so he’s not offended.”

• “He acts his age and meets me on an adult level, even if he doesn’t get what he wants.”

• “When he has an issue with something in our relationship, he is calm and doesn’t make me feel like a criminal.”

• “He lets me know that my love and my support mean the world to him.”

• “When he’s sad or angry, I know I can bring a smile to his face and snap him out of it.”

• “He knows he can confide in me and trust me.”

• “He respects every member of our family, and never takes his anger out on them.”

I simply need a peaceful relationship.

NOW that you deeply acknowledge this need to be in a peaceful and nurturing relationship, to receive positive affection and encouraging support…how are you going to establish a peace zone in your life, where there is no sulking, no negativity and no love refusal? How are you going to provide yourself with this peaceful emotional area in a constant way?

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today! Begin now reading your copy of “The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband” and recover your own happiness!

Filed Under: passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive definition, Passive Aggressive Husband, passive aggressive marriage, passive aggressive personality Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Is He Playing Mind Games with You?

August 13, 2010 By

When I feel that he is “Playing Mind Games with Me,” the dream I’m yearning for is… trust in him.

Here we had some 85% of responses expressing the following dreams:

1. “Sometimes I feel like it’s a lost cause to think we can ever communicate openly about why he needs to play these games, why he hides his thoughts and actions. Maybe it isn’t hopeless to dream of clarity, but right now it seems like it.”

2. “I want to be an integral part of his life and worthy of so much more than games. I do not like playing mind games and think this is the worst aspect of my PA husband. I do not want to have to play games to get what I want; I prefer to be forthcoming, and want that in return.”

3. “I would like to have consistency, to trust that a yes is a yes and a no is a no. Being with a man who changes his mind all the time makes me feel insecure, like I can’t trust him. I never know where I stand, and I leave the argument feeling like nothing has been resolved. It makes me feel heavy.”

In what other ways would you know that you can trust him?

• “My well-being is more important to him than keeping up appearances of perfection.”

• “We never waste life’s precious moments; we focus most on loving each other.”

• “I can think clearly when I’m with him, and I have faith in myself and my perceptions.”

• “Reverse psychology does not occur when we are working things out.”

• “He would never insult my intelligence by being dishonest or trying to manipulate me.”

• “He is above cheating me or stifling me; he thrives on bringing out the best of me.”

• “Our relationship doesn’t feel faked. It’s a real, secure connection.”

• “Sometimes, if the situation is complicated, we set down a time limit and a goal.”

I simply need security.

NOW that you deeply acknowledge this need for a secure bond, where you can trust your own perceptions as connected to the shared reality, how are you going to send the message that you want to get rid of manipulation and deceit? How important is this need and how are you going to prevent the lack of trust that is so damaging to your self-esteem? How are you going to respect your own need for transparency and truth?

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today! Get your own copy of “The Art of Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband,” and begin the path to recover yourself!.

Filed Under: impact of passive aggression, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive definition, Passive Aggressive Husband, passive aggressive marriage, passive aggressive personality Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Balancing Passive Aggression Strategy 1

July 5, 2010 By

Have you been sometimes daydreaming of giving your PA husband a spoonful of his own medicine? Are you really tired of balancing and compensating the day to day tasks he leaves undone? ever think of turning tables on him? This is the strategy called ‘fighting fire with fire.’

If your passive aggressive partner is used to have you covering up for his withdrawal, silences and frequent claims of helplessness, then STOP.

You could train yourself on not reacting to cover up his missing activities. Given that your own welfare and livelihood are dependent on his, because living together, he is confident that you will save both of you at the last minute.

How could you pull this trick:

Declare somewhat casually that you are not to be automatically in charge of covering up what he leaves undone or forgets and that he needs to ask you for the favor of doing something in his own “to do list.” If there is no request from his side, inform him you will let the issue expire, drop or be disconnected.

Try to pick one issue not so fundamental to your own well being as the electricity supply. If this bill lapses because he didn’t remember to pay it, better you have your own flashlight hidden somewhere in the house.

Once you have selected your issue target, do nothing. Don’t remind him; don’t warn him; keep complete silence and see what happens.

Wait to mention the issue so he is the one first to recognize that something is not working. Wait to be asked if you did pay the bill, etc. then, look at him and say “That was in your list, and as we both are grown up people, we both need to take care of what needs to be done.”

Don’t offer to solve the problem; be prepared to live without, up until the moment he decides to go ahead and solve it. It can be difficult, but remember that you are making a point here.

Probably, the most difficult part of this strategy will be stopping yourself from helping, solving or taking care of things…This is a good thing to learn, so stay put, breathe deeply and remember to have fun and enjoy your own life.

PD. we have two more great strategies to teach you….keep reading. If you have a good friend in need of learning them, could you send this message to them? Thanks!

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Filed Under: Passive Aggressive Husband Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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