I wanted to say though, that throughout this I noticed it wasnt just my life he seemed dis-interested in, our goals in relationship, his own life was going around in circles too. The cuplrit it seems may be Adult ADHD and I am posting as having read a lot about it and waiting for my partner to have a formal diagnosis, it can look a lot similar to passive aggressive behaviour and probably is, but the underlying cause is perhaps treatable, or at least understandable that it is certainly nothing to do with me.

I hope this helps in all ways to reassure those of you that have a hard time remembering it really isn’t you, you are probably trying too hard to compensate for the frustrating behaviour. I may well be leaving my relationship, but I will be leaving with the clear decision and awareness that things wont change however hard I try, which is a point we have to get to with any situation that we are hoping will change. Change needs to happen from both sides I believe and sometimes it is really, really, hard.